My Wife the Warrior
Okay, so, as my wife is recuperating from giving birth to our newborn baby girl, I thought I’d write what the last 48ish hours were like from my perspective.
Here goes:
From week 36 to her actual delivery day, Jadie had been feeling contractions and having kind of “bouts” of false labor. We would walk around Target, and she would contract consistently then we would leave and eat and … NOTHING. It was very discouraging. Then, we went past Carolina’s due date (March 31) and the emotional discouragement got bigger. After week 41, we started talking about care transfer from the midwife’s to a OBGYN and about having to be induced and deliver at the hospital. For years, all I’ve heard from Jadie about birth is, “I want to do it natural. I want that experience. Women gave birth long before there were epidurals.” However, at this point, she was willing to do anything just to get her out.
Then it happened. Sunday morning, I did my normal routine:
- Up at 5am
- RCC Blountstown rehearsal at 6:30am
- Drive to Marianna
- Load In/Set Up
- RCC Marianna rehearsal
- Start the church service
And Jadie showed up about half way through the talk during the service. When I first saw her, she was leaning against the wall obviously contracting so I gave her the look…her response: “Don’t worry it’s not real labor, they are like 30 minutes apart.” So we went through the day, just testing to see if this was going to be another time of false labor and at 8pm the contractions started getting a little more intense and closer together…like 15 minutes.
So we called our midwife and told her what was going on. Her advice was great…”If it is real labor, then you need to try to sleep because you have a long night ahead of us.” Great advice that we didn’t follow very well. We tried, but we were so excited it was impossible.
3:01am CST - We decided to call our midwife again. We said, “Hey, we know it’s early, but Jadie isn’t sure that she will be able to handle the drive to Tallahassee when these get more intense.” Layla (our midwife) agreed.
3:30am CST - We left for Tallahassee, calling family along the way.
5:30 EST - We arrived at The Birth Cottage, got in our room, and Jadie’s contractions continued to get more and more intense. We heard Carolina’s heart beat, but didn’t get checked for dilation because Jadie didn’t want to get discouraged.
5:45 EST - We tried to sleep…
6:15 EST - Jadie realized that she couldn’t sleep so we tried to watch TV on my iPhone (thank you Justin.tv app) to distract her from the pain. Texts/Tweets/FB comments/Prayers started coming in like crazy.
6:45 ish EST - Being in the room was getting to Jadie, so we went for a walk around the parking lot. Jadie started to doubt herself here, but as we talked about it, she came back around and powered through.
8:30 ish EST - After walking, laying back down, watching TV, me trying to help her through her contractions with massage/counter pressure/encouragement (yeah, for real, encouragement), Jadie was at a breaking point. So, I finally talked her into trying the bathtub. Layla started the water and started helping Jadie get ready to be in the tub.
9:00 ish EST - Jadie got in the tub and finally starts to relax. The contractions were getting worse, but the water seemed to relax her so it was better.
11:30 ish EST - Jadie started to get extremely discouraged. She said, “I’ve been doing this for 24 hours now. I can’t do this any more.” It was just me and her in the room and Lala had checked her a few hours before letting her know that she was 4 cm dilated. I kept telling her that she could do it and all she had to do was believe that herself.
11:40 ish EST - My words of encouragement worked once or twice, but eventually, all she heard was, “Blah Blah Blah, I like to see you in pain.” So, I went for reinforcements. Layla came in and was incredible. Jadie started relaxing again. She was still saying she couldn’t do it, but she wasn’t frantic anymore. I just stood back and watched.
12:00 ish EST - (as I write this, I’m not sure how accurate these times have become) Layla checked Jadie and told her that she was 5 cm dilated and that she was almost there. At that point, Jadie realized that whether she was in a hospital or not, she would have to have Carolina without meds from this point forward. Her countenance changed. She got ferocious. Each contraction was a Mt. Everest, but she was climbing.
12:30 ish EST - Jadie told Layla and I that with every contraction she was pushing, and while she knew she wasn’t supposed to, she couldn’t help it. Layla told her to listen to her body. Jadie did.
1:00 EST - Contractions were ROUGH. Layla checked Jadie again and she was as 7.5 cm. Jadie’s water broke, and while I’m not 100% sure this is what happened, I think, Jadie went from 7.5ish cm to fully dilated in 5 minutes flat.
1:20 ish EST - Jadie’s eyes got big during a contraction. “I feel her head! Wait! Not any more.” Layla asked if she wanted to be checked, but Jadie declined.
1:33 ish EST - Jadie said she felt her head. I turned off the jets and low and behold her head was out. Layla jumped to it. “With this next one, give a big push…” Jadie did and Carolina didn’t budge. Layla told Jadie to push again, but Jadie couldn’t really without a contraction.
1:35 EST - Layla told Jadie that she needed to get out of the tub, and as we are went to help her out, Jadie says, “Contraction, Contraction!” Layla got back down and said, “BIG PUSH.” And out she came.
1:36 EST - Layla placed Carolina on Jadie’s chest. Jadie is crying victoriously. Layla is getting the water out of Carolina’s mouth and nostrils. Carolina is crying. I’m standing next to the tub amazed…no words. Then I heard, “Clint, get the camera!”
1:37 EST - Pictures, pictures, pictures.
1:38 EST - Kim and Alice (Jadie’s mom and grandmother) walk through the door.
1:42 EST - I held my daughter for the first time.
1:53 EST - Becky and Andria (My mom and sister) walk through the door.
In conclusion I have a few thoughts:
- Even for Dads who are not really into this kind of thing, it is an INCREDIBLE experience.
- God has perfect timing.
- We have the greatest friends and family on the face of the earth.
- My wife is a WARRIOR!!
